Point Man: War on Manhood

According to the Steve Farrar there are two specific strategies that are being employed by Satan against the influence of fathers on their children:

Strategy #1: To effectively alienate and sever a husband's relationship with his wife. Such a division can either be physical or emotional. Both are equally effective. 
Strategy #2: To effectively alienate and sever a fathers relationship with his children. Again, such a division can either be physical or emotional. Both are equally effective.

Farrar, Steve (2009-03-25). Point Man: How a Man Can Lead His Family (pp. 25-26). Random House, Inc.. Kindle Edition. 

If this is true, it means that the "war on manhood" is both subtle and intentional.  In contemporary, western culture of the United States any discussion on being a "man" or attempting to be masculine is almost always met with resistance.
"Why do we need men to be men, why can't they just be respectful?"
"The need for men to step up is so 50's.  It is obvious that women are fully capable of doing what any man can.  Fathers should just learn to work equally with mothers."
"That antiquated idea of men's roles and women's roles goes back to a principle that is both sexist and inappropriate."

Now this isn't always the argument, but it is often the case.  However, most women I talk with want their husbands to grow up.  Stop playing with their "Wii" and get a job. I have counseled numerous young couples whose marriage is already riddled with problems because the husband won't engage, contribute, or even attempt to compromise.  In response, most husbands that I counsel with - and consequently those who were husbands, but are no longer - use this opportunity to remind their wives that their insistence and continued nagging is not an act of submission as they are commanded.

But at the root of this is alienation.

Knowing

Sometimes I wonder what my kids will be when they grow up. will the

Treasure

I have read a story about a man who was wandering though a field when he came across a treasure that was hidden. When he realized what he had found, he hid it again, sold all his worth, and bought the field so that he could enjoy the treasure for himself. To be honest, this story has always disturbed me. Didn't this treasure originally belong to someone else. Someone, who like himself had hidden the treasure originally? Isn't this in some way stealing? Or at least dishonest gain?

 To get caught in the moral dilemma is to miss the point I gather. After all, a treasure hidden in a field doesn't exactly speak of honest merit to begin with, but we can always assume the negative. The story is about the kingdom of heaven and how when one finds it, it should be seen a treasure worth everything we have. And when we find it, we should give up everything we have with Joy to have the greater treasure. 

Sounds good in theory. However, in truth many rarely find a "treasure" of such value. If that were the case, there'd be much less poverty. If the treasure had truly been found, the rate of violence would likely be much lower. A treasure of such value should lead people to stop living so selfishly. Instead of starving to be treasured by others, the find would compel them to treasure others. Friendships would be less expendable. Children would be more celebrated. Others would be encouraged to search. Who knows maybe we would find that we were more likely to help them search.

Chorus

“Sing it with your life, sing with your heart. Make melody with the words of your mouth. But, mind that you listen, tell it to others. Hear the chorus of faith. Live the chorus of faith.”  Michael Card, Chorus of Faith.

My faith is not my own.  I wish I could say that it was, but it is not.  I am not the procurer of faith. I do not fashion or shape it.  It is not my own vantage point that makes faith prosper or fester. Instead, there is something greater at play here.  

Each day I am reminded that I am I singing a song that has existed for centuries.  A song that I may add a line or two in reflection, but I am not its creator, nor will my voice carry a note longer than anyone else’s.  Instead, I am simply singing in unison.

It is true that Francis sang to the plants and spoke with the animals.  Still others can hear the cacophony of notes and expressions in the crashing of waves.  As the rain beats down on our fabricated landscapes and the song of the Malamute calls out to a world saturated in the songs of longing, I am reminded that no new arrangements exist in this concert.  Instead, I am both listening and performing with countless others whose song is celebrated by the  audience of One who loves to hear us.  

Singing must be a part of our lives.  Without song, we are destined only to know the arrangement, recognize the notes, even acquiesce to the the theory.  If in our hearts we cannot sing boldly balanced with humility we will confuse the greater role of our song.  The task in our lives is to be willing to accept that our task is not a task at all.   Instead, it is our voice that calls out to deep and it is the song of our hearts that allows us to join naturally in this chorus of faith.  

Thanks

Father, 

Today I am grateful for all that you have provided me with.  I look around and see the wonder of what you have made and realize how blessed I am to enjoy it.  I thank you for my children and the woman who I call their mother and my wife.  I am grateful for the home in which I live and the vehicles I am able to drive.  I thank you for food in my refrigerator and the clothes that cover my body.  I am thankful for the world you have so graciously provided.  I am grateful, but disinterested.

Daily I wake up to a world that is full of wonder and I follow the same paths I trod the day before.  It is easier to sit inside a coffee shop than it is to sit at my table at home.  Today there is no doubt I will listen to the same music, ponder the same tired theories of existence and diatribe with those to whom I am angry, but don’t have the wherewithal to confront.  Then it will come:

I will question my faith in you.  

I will wrestle with the seemingly inconsistent presentation of you in the Scriptures and the world in which I live.  I will think the thoughts of Dawkins who would write you off as mere magic or superstition so that a more simple answer can be sought.  I will wonder why so much violence and injustice occur in a world supposedly orchestrated and overseen by an all-powerful, merciful god. For a few moments, I will wrestle with what confuses me,  But I will come back to what I do understand. 

Trees give off oxygen that allow me to breathe.  The ground produces fruit and vegetation that will sustain me.  While not readily accessible to all, fresh water provides my body with much needed hydration. It is true that I cannot fix the world; however, I am not restricted in handling the issues of those around me.  More than that, I am able to pass on a legacy of hope and peace to my children who will one day - if they are not already - wrestle with both the angels and demons of their age.  For this I thank you.  

I love you so.

Soli Deo Gloria

Pilgrim

I can say that I have always liked to walk. I can remember from an early age enjoying taking a walk. Sometimes to relax, sometimes to reflect, always to be liberated. It isn't that I enjoy nature, as I rarely walk and listen for it. It isn't that I need the exercise, though the marks from my pants around my stomach would suggest otherwise. I have always walked because it is typically the only time that I have found my life to make any sense.

I accept that it is a form of escapism and in many ways that proves to be a concern for some. However, I will argue that escape is sometimes the only way to be safe in the grip of mystery. My life continues to be more and more controlled by various technologies. Calendars that show up on my phone, mail that comes through my laptop, text messages that show up on my iPad are all mediums that demand my attention at every turn. I am constantly bombarded with sounds that come from cars, TV, and other progressive forms of "Destiny" and yet my greatest aggravation- my dogs barking at night. In the end, I am typically bound to what I sense is progress only to find that nothing really seems to be going anywhere.

I wonder if the root of the problem is not the pace at which time and space seem to be constantly fixed. Rather, it is my incredulous spirit of believing that I can control it. I attempt to set schedules that reflect my intentions, I scold my kids when they won't go to sleep fast enough or when they spend the day running through the house screaming. It isn't until I stop long enough to see that like me they are simply pilgrims trekking from moment to moment through a life that is full of wonder and surprise at every turn. The only difference - I know by mental ascent and they know from personal experience.

Soli Deo Gloria

Wonder

"Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.". John 7:37-38 TNIV

Sometimes the invitation to come and drink is all that I hear. What I mean is this: often times I hear Jesus invite me to come and be refreshed, nourished, enthralled, etc., but I fail to hear that I am thirsty. There's not much to the invitation if I fail to acknowledge that I am thirsty. Instead of coming due to a need, I treat the drink the same way I hold a late night snack. I go because I know it's there. There is no real hunger or need; rather, I am just consuming for the sake of consuming.

If I am to be honest, I accept that for the most part I don't approach Jesus out of "thirst" as much as I approach Him out of habit. Habit is not altogether bad, but like so many other things when done as a result of unconscious ascent to the mountain of monotony it does lose its sense of wonder.

If granted opportunity, wonder can illicit thirst.

Wonder can lead us to the feet of Jesus who tells us that once we have come to the source of living water, water will flow from us into the world at large.

In other words, we become the presence of living water in the world of those who are thirsty. Rivers of living water will flow from us into their lives.

Soli Deo Gloria

afraid

It must be stated that to an extent I am afraid.
Afraid that life will flip on me and I will find that I have been wrong.
Afraid that my wife will stop talking with me.
Afraid that my children will see no need to have confidence in me as a father.
Afraid that the veil will be drawn and I will be revealed for the fraud I am.
Afraid that I have woke into an experience that is handcrafted by its own creator- me.

Fear is an interesting thing. It can make us try harder or give up altogether. When given reign, fear can completely destroy its carrier. However, when restrained it can do even greater damage. Somehow fear must be both released to do its job and given parameters so it doesn't do us in. I believe this can only happen when we see our lives as series of steps on a journey.

I am not really "going anywhere", but I cannot stay here. I am really just a vagabond in search of the sacred and a good cup of coffee- and sometimes they really are just the same. I have spent an inordinate amount of time attempting to be something fashioned after the idols of progress and "destiny" who simply amount to lovers less wild than the one who has won me through Love and Mercy.

I am afraid I have missed it somewhere along the way.
I am afraid that i have less time today than yesterday with no assurance of tomorrow.
I am afraid that my kids and my wife have played second fiddle to my fear far too long.
I am afraid that many will be offended.
I am even more afraid that many more will be lost if I don't overcome my fear.

Soli Deo Gloria

Sometimes the dawn breaks and I am reminded that life moves on whether I am prepared for it or not. I have struggled lately with the ability to see for today what only can be

Sometimes the dawn breaks and I am reminded that life moves on whether I am prepared for it or not.

Sometimes the dawn breaks and I am reminded that life moves on whether I am prepared for it or not. I have struggled lately with

Sometimes the dawn breaks and I am reminded that life moves on whether I am prepared for it or not. I have struggled lately with the ability to see for today what only can be embraced now. I would

Near

Philippians 4:4-5 Click to read

Having children is a continued practice in learning to be both patient and understanding. I can say with a great deal of confidence that I am not the most long suffering father. I am not always hesitant to correct or redirect my children to do as I want them to. I realize that sometimes rather than encouraging them with words of hope and joy, I simply reduce them to tears in their room away from the unyielding force of a man apart. But it is often my children who remind me that justice is not always the final say, that there is something even greater than justice.

Philippians 4:5 speaks of “gentleness” that is evident to all and I believe that my children have a better handle on this than I. The word is difficult to translate and many have done different things with it, but in the end the sense seems to be that we as believers should practice a form of giving what is due, unless what is due is not good enough. Isaiah 42:3 speaks to the spirit of His Servant “A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.” Many believe that this verse is part of a greater section of Scripture that speaks of the coming of Jesus some 700 years before he arrived. If this is true, then it is a great picture of who Jesus was and what he calls his children to be.

I learn from my children because at times they are great teachers. However, I believe that they are great teachers not as a result of great intellect or life experience. Rather, I sense that my children - like many others- desperately love their father no matter what. They want to believe that I love them, that I am really about them in every way. I sense that my children want to believe that no matter what my words may say or even my face might show - Dad is near and they just want to be with Him. And I sense this is how God would have us to see everyone. When we deal with other people, God's example is one of high importance. When Paul instructs the readers of his letter to act with gentleness, it would appear that he is saying continue to act in ways that go the extra mile. Don't simply return to others what they are due, at times you must go beyond what is due into the realm of extravagance. To a place that extends beyond what we deserve and into what is better. (Romans 3:21-26 Click to Read)

Soli Deo Gloria

Face in Hands

I am wearied from Christians who know everything. Their wealth of knowledge has led them to instruct me that watching movies or reading books that include witchcraft are abominations. I am instructed that my love for 80's hair bands reveal a deep seated lust for excess. I am reminded ad nauseam how wrong it is for me to speak so freely about sex with my kids or to kiss my wife publicly. I am called to remember that following after Jesus, means saying no to myself - even if more commonly it simply means saying no to things they have had to say no to. And let's not forget that if I am really going to follow the path Jesus laid out for me, it will most assuredly not include real heartfelt conversations of love and peace with lesbians or muslims; rather, it is my imperative to proclaim the unyielding fire of judgement that awaits them.

ils ne comprennent pas.

It is not that I don't appreciate correction. It is not that I don't accept my affinity for the wide path and the oft needed redirection from well respected brothers or sisters. Rather, I am more concerned that in an attempt to correct what is perceived as a wandering from the path (James 5:19-20 ) my brothers and sisters have proven to be less of a sibling in the LORD than they intended. At one point in the gospel of Matthew, Jesus cautioned people from judging without being willing to be judged. (Matthew 7:1-5) The point of this passage seems to suggest that we as followers of Christ are capable of "judging" others only if we are willing to accept the same judgement of ourselves. Now this is not about judging solely based on "you tell me not to do this...do you do this?". If we have learned anything about Jesus, we should know that there is more to the instruction. Instead of it being the Bible is against witchcraft do you practice it? It is the Bible is against a number of things - do you practice any of them?

For example, it is unsettling to me that some people will valiantly attack a brother or sister in Christ for considering a tattoo because Leviticus 19:28 tells them the Lord says no. Now, I don't see many of them rising when an elderly person walks in the room (Leviticus 19:32) or going to the aid of immigrants when the government determines their value is less than human (Leviticus 19:33). Yes the Scriptures forbid the practice of witchcraft (Exodus 20:18, Leviticus 19:31, 20:6, 20:27), but they also command us to things such as stone adulterers (Leviticus 20:10-12), kill those who "curse" their parents (Leviticus 20:9), avoid busybodies so that they will be shamed (2 Thessalonians 3:14-15), and to drink wine if we have stomach problems. (1 Timothy 5:23) Ultimately, using the Scriptures as a defense means that you must be willing to examine whether or not you really are willing to fall under the same scrutiny yourself.

I am not attempting to undermine the direction that others have received from the LORD. Nor am I saying that using the Scriptures is not a good source for accountability. I accept that it is the intention of the LORD that the body of Christ hold one another accountable to live as children of light; however, I will contend that like them, I have been given a spirit of discernment. I am able to understand the powers of darkness and the impact that can have on my soul. I recognize that I am under a new authority and as such it is required of me to be intentional in my life as to my choices. I realize the importance of being a godly parent, the spiritual head of my house, and a lover to only two: God and my wife. At the end, I hope that I have been faithful in those accounts. I trust if I have not, the Holy Spirit will instruct me both through the Word of the Lord and Counsel. (Jeremiah 31:31-34, 2 Timothy 3:16-17, John 14:25-26) The difference: I pray that all correction I offer will be done so with the humility of Jesus. (Philippians 2:5-11) I pray that I will remember that when I cite the Scripture to defend a position, I must be willing to accept that my desire is to be godly, not right. I pray my words wound less and heal more. I realize that sometimes others need a do better speech, I just hope we are as open when its our turn.

Soli Deo Gloria.

(All Scripture references are hyperlinks)

The Way of Life

"Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." (John 20:30-31)

"Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. " (John 17:3)

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." (John 15:13)

"I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6)

"You call me Teacher and Lord, and rightly so, for that is what I am . Now that I your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you should also wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, servants are not greater than their master, nor are messengers greater than the one who sent them. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them." (John 13:13-17)

"Those who love their life will lose it, while those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me, must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me." (John 12:25-26)

"I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?" (John 11:25-26)

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them from out of my hand. My Father who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and the Father are one." (John 10:27-30)

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they might have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10)

"If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free."(John 8:31-32)

"Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, 'rivers of living water will flow from within them.'" (John 7:37-38)

"Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your ancestors [Israelites] ate manna and died, but whoever feeds on this bread will live forever." (John 6:57-58)

"I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty." (John 6:35)

"Very truly I tell you, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be judged but has crossed over from death to life. Very truly I tell you, a tim e is coming and has now come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who hear will live." (John 5:24-27)

"Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but those who drink the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." (John 4:13-14)

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." (John 1:1-5)

In the end - the way of life is a path set forth and traveled by the Son of God. And the Son still asks:

"are you gonna go my way?"

Simple Acceptance

Today, before you point out the failures of others with a spirit of "love", ask yourself specifically: What have I done today to rescue the child abandoned to prostitution? When did I offer water to the thirsty? In what ways have I sought to bring healing to the wounded? To whom did I say "You are glorious and loved well beyond your imagination".

Rather than being a weapon of force to remind others of their failures we should hear the words of St. Francis: "Lord, Make me an instrument of Your Peace."

Soli Deo Gloria

Amazing Grace

I am not surprised by the sin in me. It doesn't typically catch me off guard or unaware. Most times I am fully aware of my capacity to

Behind the Eyes

Proverbs 14:12 (Click Here to Read)
I must admit that I am not entirely innocent in life. I have found that as I walk the road before me, I am guilty of walking recklessly. I don’t always consider the steps I take - whether they will harm those in front of me or behind. I don’t always take the time to look directly into the eyes of those passing by, not because I am in such a hurry, but because I am not really interested in them. At the end of the day, most times I just want to sit in a space where no one inhabits and soak up the silence of my own personal existence. At the root of who I am, I am selfish. I am inconsiderate. I am not a lover of people. I am a lover of self. And quite honestly, that love has left me fatally wounded at times.

By the way, I am a pastor. I am called to care for, tend to, protect, and guide people in the way that is right in order that Christ might be glorified in them. At the end of my life, I will be responsible to God for those to whom He has called me to care. Which makes the road I walk somewhat challenging. By nature, I don’t want to do that. I would prefer to simply move forward at speeds that permit me advancement, stepping over those in my way - regardless of whether they are wounded or not. In the end, I have a way I want to go that I believe will lead me to what I hunger for most - self gratification.

Fortunately for me, I am not bound to that nature. I am not obligated to simply live out what I would on my own. As I walk this road, I am reminded that I am not alone. I am reminded that the presence of God is within me due to the power of Christ’s resurrection and my submission to Him. I am now one whose conscious has been seared and changed forever. No longer do I walk a road that leads toward self gratification; rather, it leads indiscriminately away from it to the glory of God.

But this new nature does come with a cost. It is not something that comes without a sacrifice of my own. Instead of leading me toward living solely as if my own life were all that mattered, now I am to consider the lives of others. Instead of being accountable only to myself, I am now accountable to others. I have always been accountable to God - whether I accept it or not.

My accountability to others is not so much related to answering yes or no, but includes an accountability to accepting that they are on the same road as I. Just as before when I was walking and felt no obligation to make eye contact with those passing by, it was because I was on the road to self-destruction and they to glory. It is with a sensitive heart that I remember that I don’t truly know what someone else is experiencing, but I do know what I have experienced.

Not everyone who smiles is happy. While helpful to an extent, a full wallet does not make a satisfied man. There are many who are lonely who pass by me in Wal-Mart or at Starbucks. There are many who feel as if they have been forgotten - if they ever felt noticed to begin with. It is my task to look them in the eyes and offer them balm for their own wounds, speak hope into their lives, and walk with them on this road to Glory.

The Taste of Aged Wisdom

Proverbs 8:22-31 (Click Text to Read)

I am a fan of instructions. I like knowing that someone took the time to write down what I need to know about putting something together or making something work the right way. I don’t care for winging it. I don’t like the idea of just giving it a shot and see if it works. People die that way and I am a fan of living. But even if that is not the most likely outcome, I still believe that living comes with some instructions or at least some guidance and that guidance is there for a purpose.

Proverbs 8:22-31 speaks to the importance of Wisdom or instruction. The text is not dedicated specifically to the acceptance of Wisdom as such. Instead the author personified Wisdom and gave Her a high seat of importance: Wisdom preexisted all of creation. Before the oceans, before the land, before the skies, before the horizon, before even the first handful of dirt, Wisdom existed. Wisdom was the first of God’s great works. Knowing this should drive us to seek out Wisdom all the more. Because Wisdom predated wealth, we should trust Wisdom in matters of finance. Due to its preexistence, Wisdom is more powerful than any created weapon or force. Acquiring Wisdom is to be the ultimate end of all Man’s efforts so that nothing will be wasted as we learn to live as God intended.

The greatest challenge of Wisdom: it’s not an easy sell. It is easier to shoot now ask later. It’s more palatable on the tongue of avarice to settle for less than excellent in matters of money and wealth. It is just more reasonable to assume I know better than Wisdom. But Wisdom says,” I have been here all along and I have seen what happens when people fail to choose my ways. So you can go you own way, but your way is not really your way. There are only two ways: Wisdom and Folly. And I am the only one who has been here all along.”

Soli Deo Gloria

Keeping the Heart Focused

Proverbs 4:20-27 (Click here to read Scriptures)

I believe that most of my life is spent seeking wisdom; however, I will readily admit that I am prone to seek only wisdom that benefits me. I cannot imagine I am much different from others in this vein. It is not solely for selfish reasons that I seek such wisdom. In some cases I am likely to search out wisdom that will continue to water the soil for previous plantings to permit healthy growth. I am likely to “follow-up” on certain things so that wisdom remains fresh and vibrant in my “heart”. However, it is true that I am somewhat select at times in pursuing wisdom so that it doesn’t challenge. In truth, that type of wisdom is really folly.

According to Proverbs the pursuit of wisdom, provides my body with real health. The author reminds me here that the pursuance of wisdom ensures that my feet will go where they are supposed to, that my eyes look steadfast toward the proper end, that my mouth speaks only what is honorable and true, and that I am able to guard my heart as it is the “wellspring of life”.

I must remember that the Hebrew/Christian world had no place for separation of body and Spirit. The two were constantly to be understood as one. Therefore, if my mind is corrupt, so will my body be corrupt. In fact, it is because of a corrupted mind (heart) that the body behaves as it does. May I not be so bold as to assume I can distinguish between the two. It is my job to remember that as the body does, the mind directs. Jesus called us to cancel out that which corrupts so that we can live fully with not regrets. (Mark 9:43-48) May I remember his command and live it ever so fervently.

Soli Deo Gloria.

?

In many ways, most of our lives are spent asking questions that don't really matter anyway. In some cases, the questions we ask are really evidence of a much greater pursuit. It's being able to see in our experiences the value of being alive. It's being able to confidently assert that we are here for more than just the fleeting moments of time. Rather than reflecting our true intent, our questions often reflect a much deeper discussion. One that we must have a great deal of courage to have.

In John 3, Nicodemus approached Jesus at night to ask some questions. Many have tried to unpack his reasoning for coming at night. Some say out of fear, others say out of respect. I say because that's when he was supposed to. He comes to Jesus and asks him who he is. Now he covers the question by saying:

"Rabbi, we know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him.”

It's an interesting way of asking a question - the art of asking a question without the use of interrogatives. It assumes that more was being said than what is read. Perhaps it was in his tone of voice or maybe in his demeanor, but in essence Nicodemus is asking a question that his friends would not. Who are you?

And isn't that the question after all? Jesus, who are you? Lots of people say lots of things, but I just want your answer. Because that really does color everything in light of my questions. If you prove to be something I really don't about, then I need to know what that means for me. If you are someone who will change me, how should that look for me?

I have always been enamored by Jesus' response to people. At various times, Jesus is seen as avoiding them, embracing them, annoying them, and even reprimanding them. You get the sense that Jesus spent most of his time answering questions that really came back to Nicodemus' - Who are You?

Hindsight

^{Genesis 45:4-7 (NIV)}

⁴ Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! ⁵ And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. ⁶ For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. ⁷ But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance

Whether we intend it or not, a great deal of our lives are spent looking backward. Trying to answer some of life’s questions can be overwhelming. Sometimes even debilitating.

What if I had taken that job?

What if I had never walked into that restaurant?

Would things have been different if I had married someone else?

Regardless of our current situation, many will consistently struggle against the urge to wax poetic about yesterday’s choices, while contending we are what we are because of those choices. In other cases, the choices to make are thrust upon us from outside of our particular realm of experience, leaving us reeling from impact.

The car veers into our lane.

He just came out of nowhere and caught me unsuspecting.

The wind picked up and took my house with it.

Sometimes life throws the curve ball that not only changes the moment, but likely changes the entire scheme of life. As such, many of us are left without any sense of reason as to why. Left only to the necessary situation, we find ourselves to be like Joseph. When his brothers return for more food and leave for home, Joseph makes sure that they must come back quickly- by force. It was by design that these brothers would stand before Joseph, hat in hand begging for pardon. However, the response they get is one they never expected and one I suspect Joseph never intended to offer.

Isn’t that case with most of our lives. I cannot go back to many moments in my life that were not influenced by the moments that preceded them. Every turn, every decision, whether wittingly or not has found itself to be the source or at least the directive that sent me forward into where I am now. Each moment, good or bad, has possessed in it what theologians call “providence.” Providence relates to what God both plans and orchestrates in the lives of his created order. Some have argued unfavorably towards pre-determinism (which robs people of the creative genius given by God); whereas, others have contended that God’s plan is altered by the petitions or desires of His people. In either case, it is God who ultimately determines whether to change or not. Yet it is true that much of what I face, I tend to go towards of my own volition.

I have not come to a conclusive decision as to the reasoning, but I am confident of one thing, I am where I am based the varied moments of my life. I could argue that some are random and some are fixed; yet, I seem more confident that they are here because of providence. Like Joseph, my life is in the care of my God. I am a participant. I am a contributor. And I am recipient and hindsight affords me the opportunity to see it happening.

Sometimes there are no words

^{Genesis 43:29-30 NIV}

²⁹ As he looked about and saw his brother Benjamin, his own mother’s son, he asked, “Is this your youngest brother, the one you told me about?” And he said, “God be gracious to you, my son.” ³⁰ Deeply moved at the sight of his brother, Joseph hurried out and looked for a place to weep. He went into his private room and wept there.

Sometimes the greatest struggles we face are internal. They show up when we think we have conquered our fears. They surface when life seems to present the possibility of hope. Other times when we think we can handle no more, a wound is reopened and the pain is astonishing. The story of Joseph and his brothers is one of those moments.

Hated, betrayed, and abandoned to the Ishmaelites, Joseph's road to Egypt was filled with tragedy. Around every turn was another temptation or challenge. As he conquered one, another one surfaced. Finally as the road ended in Egypt, Joseph was vindicated by being given a role of high authority in Pharaoh's house. Enter his brothers. A famine had swept Egypt and threatened to kill a majority of its inhabitants. Jacob-Joseph's father- had sent 10 of his sons to Egypt to get food. Unbeknownst to them, they stood before their brother Joseph, whom they had sold into slavery several years before. Joseph was being called upon to literally save his family. Which left him in such a quandary.

Most of life is like this. There is absolutely no question that we are all wounded. Someone somewhere has done something that has scarred us. And we have moved forward, we have advanced, and yet it only takes a moment to tear the wound wide open again. Maybe its a party or an email. Maybe a phone call or a movie. Whatever it is it takes us by storm and in the midst of our agony all we can do is escape to a "private room and weep there."

There is no shame. There is no offense. You must do it. Nothing heals the wounded soul, like the salt of tears. So cry if you must. Steal away and find solace in the arms of a Savior who loves you so much. Who understands the impact of wounds inflicted by loved ones. But who has learned the truth about forgiveness. May you find peace there.

Soli Deo Gloria