Behind the Eyes

Proverbs 14:12 (Click Here to Read)
I must admit that I am not entirely innocent in life. I have found that as I walk the road before me, I am guilty of walking recklessly. I don’t always consider the steps I take - whether they will harm those in front of me or behind. I don’t always take the time to look directly into the eyes of those passing by, not because I am in such a hurry, but because I am not really interested in them. At the end of the day, most times I just want to sit in a space where no one inhabits and soak up the silence of my own personal existence. At the root of who I am, I am selfish. I am inconsiderate. I am not a lover of people. I am a lover of self. And quite honestly, that love has left me fatally wounded at times.

By the way, I am a pastor. I am called to care for, tend to, protect, and guide people in the way that is right in order that Christ might be glorified in them. At the end of my life, I will be responsible to God for those to whom He has called me to care. Which makes the road I walk somewhat challenging. By nature, I don’t want to do that. I would prefer to simply move forward at speeds that permit me advancement, stepping over those in my way - regardless of whether they are wounded or not. In the end, I have a way I want to go that I believe will lead me to what I hunger for most - self gratification.

Fortunately for me, I am not bound to that nature. I am not obligated to simply live out what I would on my own. As I walk this road, I am reminded that I am not alone. I am reminded that the presence of God is within me due to the power of Christ’s resurrection and my submission to Him. I am now one whose conscious has been seared and changed forever. No longer do I walk a road that leads toward self gratification; rather, it leads indiscriminately away from it to the glory of God.

But this new nature does come with a cost. It is not something that comes without a sacrifice of my own. Instead of leading me toward living solely as if my own life were all that mattered, now I am to consider the lives of others. Instead of being accountable only to myself, I am now accountable to others. I have always been accountable to God - whether I accept it or not.

My accountability to others is not so much related to answering yes or no, but includes an accountability to accepting that they are on the same road as I. Just as before when I was walking and felt no obligation to make eye contact with those passing by, it was because I was on the road to self-destruction and they to glory. It is with a sensitive heart that I remember that I don’t truly know what someone else is experiencing, but I do know what I have experienced.

Not everyone who smiles is happy. While helpful to an extent, a full wallet does not make a satisfied man. There are many who are lonely who pass by me in Wal-Mart or at Starbucks. There are many who feel as if they have been forgotten - if they ever felt noticed to begin with. It is my task to look them in the eyes and offer them balm for their own wounds, speak hope into their lives, and walk with them on this road to Glory.